11 Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should Avoid
- 11 Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should Avoid
- 1. Not letting your Child explore
- 2. Overestimating or Underestimating Problems
- 3. Avoiding Rules or Limits
- 4. Not Empathizing with your Child
- 5. Failing to Lead by Example
- 6. Fighting with your partner in front of the Kid
- 7. Failing to Listen to Your Child
- 8. Having Unrealistic Expectations
- 9. Neglecting to Fix Problems
- 10. Not taking care of yourself
- 11. Fighting Your Child’s Battles
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Being a Parent is a big responsibility and your most demanding test in life. One thing that every loving parent has in common is fear of whether they are doing an excellent job at raising their kids.
Unfortunately, while trying their best to be a parent, many parents often make some Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should Avoid. These mistakes lead to kids growing up with emotional trauma or mental health issues.
In earlier times, parenting was very different, which is not suitable today. Earlier, there was no hesitation in using physical violence to teach the kids a lesson. Parents did not accept their mistakes, and kids had to take all the blame.
But, as time changes, parents are more inclined towards giving their children a loving childhood and taking good care of them. They don’t want to make the same mistakes their parents made while raising them. So, here are 11 Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should Avoid:
11 Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should Avoid
1. Not letting your Child explore
One of the parents’ most common Baby Boomer parenting mistake is not letting their Child explore. Parents are experienced and know what is suitable for their Children. Although, this should never be the reason for stopping your kid from exploring something, only because you don’t feel it’s worth the time.
Ever since birth, children have been exploring and learning about new things. They love to explore stuff they have never seen or experienced before. Therefore, stopping them from getting to know about something new can create resentment for you in their heart.
Suppose your kid has an event in his school. He wants to participate, but you stop him because you don’t feel he has the required skill set. You did it because you wanted to prevent your son from getting embarrassed. But if the kids who took part had a great time, this can create some resentment in your kids’ heart because you stopped them from having a fantastic experience in life.
Therefore, it becomes essential to let your Child have some once-a-lifetime experience and let them decide whether it was good or bad.
Note: This doesn’t mean allowing them to do or participate in potentially harmful things that may endanger their health or future.
2. Overestimating or Underestimating Problems
From a young age, whenever any kid faces some problem. They run to their parents to help them in solving it. At that moment, it becomes crucial that you pay attention to their problems and take the necessary action. Although, some parents tend to either overreact or underreact.
Suppose that a boy falls while riding his bicycle and gets a bruise. He runs to his mother, crying. His mother panics and bans him from riding his bicycle again. In this case, the mother massively overreacted, which can cause the kid to abstain from coming to her again.
In another scenario, a girl goes to her father and complains of stomach ache. The father dismisses her pain and chalks it up to her making excuses for not going to school. Due to the father underestimating her pain, the daughter may hesitate to ask him for help in the future.
Therefore, as a parent, it becomes imperative that whenever our kid comes to us for help, we listen to them and ensure that we don’t overestimate or underestimate their problems.
3. Avoiding Rules or Limits
Some parents try to go down the relaxed or fun parent lane. In an attempt, they don’t enforce rules or limits on their kids and let them do whatever they want. They think that the kids will learn from their mistakes.
But, this can be potentially harmful and result in them becoming mannerless and entitled. As a parent, it is your sole responsibility to teach manners to them. Failure in teaching can result in your kid believing that they have the right to do or have whatever they want without having to work for it or deserve it.
For any person to grow up to be a good person, parents must put appropriate rules and limits on them. This doesn’t mean becoming an overbearing parent and not letting them explore anything. (Refer to point 1)
4. Not Empathizing with your Child
Kids are very emotional beings. They don’t hold themselves and express however they feel. Therefore, children cry or get overwhelmed easily whenever they face any challenging situation. In these situations, it becomes your responsibility as a parent to empathize with them.
Instead of reacting instantly, take a moment and think about what you would feel if you were in their shoes. Whenever your kid cries, remember that they are not trying to make your life harder. Kids are still developing and don’t know any other way to cope with their challenges.
Therefore, it becomes crucial to empathize with them. It would be best if you made them feel validated so that they can be truthful in front of you. If you punish them or make them feel guilty for expressing themselves, you may condition them to close up.
Moreover, in the long run, they may bottle their emotions inside. The bottled feelings can cause them to go into depression or suffer from other mental health problems. So, whenever your child is in a challenging situation or crying, always empathize with them to make them feel validated.
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5. Failing to Lead by Example
If you ask a kid who their role model is? Some of them will say a fictional characters. But, most of them reply with their mom or dad. Therefore, you must always be on your best behavior when interacting with your Child.
Kids learn from the people around them. If they see their parents being thoughtful and kind to others around them, they also grow up like that. Similarly, if the parents act entitled and abusive, they also grow up to be like them.
For your kid to grow up and be a good human being, you, as a parent, need to lead by example. By being a good role model, you set up your kid to have a good and thoughtful life ahead.
6. Fighting with your partner in front of the Kid
As mentioned before, kids look up to their parents to learn everything. While growing if they see their parents fighting and being abusive to each other, it can cause trauma that will affect them well into adulthood.
Always remember that the base of a healthy and loving relationship in a child’s mind develops at home. If their parents are abusive, the kid will also suffer the consequences.
7. Failing to Listen to Your Child
Whenever a kid is excited about something or wants to share his feelings, they usually tell it to their parents. At that moment, it becomes vital that you validate their feelings.
Some parents fail to listen to their kids, and due to this, kids develop self-esteem issues and inferiority complexes. Therefore, as a parent, you must always validate your kid and listen to whatever they discuss. In this way, the kid will feel loved and be able to express themselves freely.
8. Having Unrealistic Expectations
Many parents try to live their dreams through their kids. Although, sometimes parents go over the top and force their kids to do something without caring for what they want. But they don’t understand that If you have unrealistic expectations of what your kids should be doing, you can create problems.
Parents develop unrealistic expectations for their children and get disappointed when those expectations are not met. In order to meet these expectations, parents put too many restrictions on them and lay down strict rules to keep them in check. However, such an attitude will do more harm than good to the baby.
Suppose a father assumes that his son is a genius. He expects his kid to ace all his exams. However, the son is not interested in studies, due to which these expectations are not met. As a result, when the son turns out to be an average student, the father gets mad and punishes the kid.
In this scenario, due to the father’s unrealistic expectations, the son is a “disappointment” in his father’s eyes. The son will grow up to resent his father and develop mental health issues. Therefore, it is crucial that you don’t bind your Child to unrealistic expectations without caring about their choice.
9. Neglecting to Fix Problems
Some parents have a superiority complex because they believe they can’t make any mistakes. They believe that either a particular problem can’t be fixed or they don’t want to fix it. It can be in the form of bedtime battles, frequent night wakings, temper tantrums, or some behaviour problems in older children.
But, parents need to understand that while it may take some hard work, most problems that you face can be worked through and changed or fixed. Also, you don’t have to do it alone. You can take advice from your pediatrician or another healthcare professional that can be helpful when you face complex or persistent problems.
Remember that ignoring a problem and thinking you will fix it later is a destructive mindset. It might make you feel good at the moment, but the problem may cause more significant problems in the future.
10. Not taking care of yourself
A significant issue with most parents is that while taking care of their kids, they forget to take care of themselves. After becoming a parent, it becomes challenging to maintain healthy habits such as regular exercise, eating healthy, going for a walk, etc. Therefore, it becomes essential that we take care of ourselves as well.
Despite devoting your time to caring for your baby, you must practice healthy coping skills in front of your children. Looking after yourself will teach them that taking a moment for yourself and re-energizing before doing something is acceptable.
Moreover, not taking care of themselves can harm a newborn’s parents. Taking care of a baby is hard work. As a result, an unhealthy lifestyle can cause stress which might get unleashed on your baby.
Hence, you must take care of yourself and have a healthy life to take better care of your baby and give them the loving and caring childhood they deserve.
11. Fighting Your Child’s Battles
Kids usually get into trouble. They will face multiple challenges while trying to learn new things. As a parent, it is always difficult to see your Child face challenges that can be fixed easily. But, you must know where to step in to help your Child navigate conflict.
Failure is a big part of success. Therefore, if the kids are never given a chance to learn to navigate challenges, they will face difficulties when they grow up. Hence, it is your responsibility to let your Child fight their own battles and interfere only when it is essential.
The journey of parenting is sweet but complex. The key to becoming the best parent is evolving according to your Child’s needs. If you avoid the mistakes mentioned earlier, you have cleared the first stage of becoming a good parent.
But, to become the best, you must ensure that your kid gets a loving and caring upbringing. You need to provide them with a place where they can be themselves without fearing judgment, their boundaries are respected, and their feelings are validated.
In this post I have mentioned these 11 Common Baby Boomer Parenting Mistakes you should avoid. But keep in mind that there are multiple other factors that you have to keep in your mind.
In the end, to be a good parent, you need to make an effort. I hope you gained some knowledge from my post and learned something new about how you can be a better parent to your Child.